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	1	+1. (((
	2	+= ♟️ Schach KLOTZTEn — The Official Rules =
	3	+
	4	+=== 1. The Goal ===
	5	+
	6	+You still have to **checkmate the enemy king**.
	7	+
	8	+However, the game is not considered a victory unless the winning player also says:
	9	+
	10	+>**„KLOTZTEN!“**
	11	+
	12	+within 5 seconds of the checkmate.
	13	+
	14	+=== 2. The KLOTZ ===
	15	+
	16	+Every player gets one special piece called the **Klotz**.
	17	+
	18	+* The Klotz moves exactly **one square in any direction**.
	19	+* It cannot capture.
	20	+* It cannot be captured.
	21	+* If a piece tries to capture it, that piece must instead move backward one square.
	22	+* The Klotz may stand on occupied squares.
	23	+* Two Klotze may occupy the same square and are then considered **“Klotz-Brüder.”**
	24	+
	25	+=== 3. Klotzenschlag ===
	26	+
	27	+Once per game, you may shout **“KLOTZENSCHLAG!”**
	28	+
	29	+Every piece on a square adjacent to your Klotz is immediately moved one square away from it.
	30	+
	31	+The king is not allowed to be moved by Klotzenschlag.
	32	+
	33	+=== 4. The Angry Pawn ===
	34	+
	35	+Whenever a pawn reaches the fifth rank, it becomes **angry**.
	36	+
	37	+An angry pawn:
	38	+
	39	+* moves two squares forward,
	40	+* can capture backwards,
	41	+* and is worth **7 points** instead of 1.
	42	+
	43	+=== 5. The Completely Normal Bishop ===
	44	+
	45	+The bishop behaves normally.
	46	+
	47	+Except that every time it captures something, the player must make a **“pew pew”** sound.
	48	+
	49	+Failure to do so means the capture is cancelled.
	50	+
	51	+=== 6. Horse Law ===
	52	+
	53	+Knights are legally classified as **horses**.
	54	+
	55	+If a knight captures the queen, the player must say:
	56	+
	57	+>**„Mein Pferd!“**
	58	+
	59	+If the opponent says **„Nein!“** before them, the capture is reversed.
	60	+
	61	+=== 7. The Emergency Rook ===
	62	+
	63	+Once per game, a rook may activate **Emergency Mode**.
	64	+
	65	+It can then move anywhere on the board in one move.
	66	+
	67	+Afterward, it is permanently renamed **Gerhard**.
	68	+
	69	+=== 8. King Panic ===
	70	+
	71	+If your king is placed in check, you may yell:
	72	+
	73	+**“PANIK!”**
	74	+
	75	+You then have exactly **three seconds** to move any legal piece.
	76	+
	77	+If you cannot escape check, you lose.
	78	+
	79	+=== 9. Queen Tax ===
	80	+
	81	+Every time the queen captures a piece, you must give your opponent **one imaginary euro**.
	82	+
	83	+If you cannot afford it, your queen becomes a bishop for one turn.
	84	+
	85	+=== 10. Castling ===
	86	+
	87	+Castling is allowed normally.
	88	+
	89	+But you must announce:
	90	+
	91	+**„UMZUG!“**
	92	+
	93	+before moving.
	94	+
	95	+If you forget, the king and rook swap their starting positions instead.
	96	+
	97	+=== 11. The KLOTZTEn Rule ===
	98	+
	99	+At any moment during your opponent's turn, you may point at the board and say:
	100	+
	101	+>**„Das ist aber ziemlich geklotzt.“**
	102	+
	103	+Your opponent must then explain why their last move was strategically correct.
	104	+
	105	+If their explanation is bad, they lose **one Klotz Point**.
	106	+
	107	+=== 12. Winning ===
	108	+
	109	+You win by:
	110	+
	111	+* checkmating the king, **and**
	112	+* shouting **“KLOTZTEN!”**
	113	+
	114	+If both players checkmate each other's kings simultaneously, the game is declared a:
	115	+
	116	+== **KLOTZ-KATASTROPHE** ==
	117	+
	118	+and nobody wins.
	119	+
	120	+
	121	+)))